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April 23 Wetlands
The map of my brain has changed since the storm parts have been washed
away
and strange seed
settled down
sprouted hateful spikes
the wildlife
©2008 Rhonda Lee Richoux
April 13 Attrition - a poemAttrition
Time has done this: no more a storehouse of vague ideologies no longer lost in the shuffle of life no longer angry with things I can't alter no longer willing to cultivate strife no one to blame but myself for my failures no longer holding that blame like a sword no more a prison, my mind has been opened no longer looking for hollow reward rubbing away at my jagged excuses wearing away at the tumor of sorrow Time has forced an attrition of excess leaving me naked and new for tomorrow.
copyright 2006 rhonda lee richoux The Road Home is LONG and FULL OF HOLESHere in Southeast Louisiana, many of us still live in FEMA trailers. It's not that we WANT to live in FEMA trailers...after all, they're small, badly made, and are killing us with formaldahyde fumes. My trailer leaks through the wall, not the ceiling, everytime we get a hard rain. But, I digress.
I'm not living in this cramped little trailer because it's fun, or because I'm lazy, or because I'm sitting here with my thumb up my ass waiting for somebody to do something for me. I have a job. Problem is, the cost of living pretty much eats up what I earn, and this is while FEMA is paying the lot rent here. Eddie and I had been saving money to buy either a damaged home to fix up or a used trailer to live in; then Eddie got sick. With every test they found something else, something more serious wrong with him. He had no insurance, so the doctors and hospitals pretty much ate up what we'd saved. And he couldn't work any more. He applied for the Louisiana Road Home grant about a year and a half ago. For a year and a half, he's been jumping through hoops trying to do every thing that they tell him to do in order to get the grant money. At some point, I had to deal with them because Eddie couldn't deal with it any more. He'd had enough of their rudeness, their incompetence, and their recorded messages that said "The mailbox you are trying to reach is full".
So, I sent them copies of affadavits and photos of Eddie's trailer before and after Katrina, and I sent them the measurements and the details of what Eddie had added to the trailer. I sent them a letter from the owner of the mobile home park where Eddie and his trailer had occupied a lot for 23 years, and I sent them a notarized affadavit from the Justice of the Peace verifying that Eddie did, indeed, own the trailer and did, indeed, live in it at the time Katrina hit. And Mr. Will Ballard said, "We need just one more thing...."
I lost it. I lost it bad, just like I did in the FEMA tent two years ago when they wanted to send me to Austin, Texas to live. I told Will, "Will, please let me speak to a supervisor, because you've been very nice, and I don't want to yell at you." Will did not get a supervisor. I asked him once again to get a supervisor on the phone, because I was about to unload and I really didn't want to unload on him. Still, he did not get a supervisor. So, I unloaded.
I'm afraid I can't repeat what I said to Will Ballard in Baton Rouge, but the very last thing I told him was, "I don't want to hear another damn thing out of your mouth except the words 'Mr. Karajulles can come in for his closing on such-and-such a date', so when you can say those words, call us back. Otherwise, don't ask us for another damned thing because you have every bit of proof you need that Eddie owned the trailer and lived in the trailer at the time of the hurricane!" ~ and I hung up on him.
Eddie isn't eligible for any money for his trailer. They said that FEMA gave him enough money. FEMA gave him $9,000. Eddie lost his truck and his car in the hurricane; FEMA did't give him anything for that.. So, we had to buy a car and eventually a truck with the money FEMA gave us. We gutted houses and Eddie worked where he could helping people rebuild their homes. I worked up in Jackson Parish while we were evacuated, and helped Eddie gut a house and also cleared out our trailer and my mom's home. I got back with the St. Bernard Parish school system as soon as a position became available. I had to wait for a school to be rebuilt. Anyway, we managed to save some money despite having to buy two vehicles and despite having to buy just about everything else we needed to survive down here in the Third World, USA, until last year when he began to have his health problems.
So, he qualifies for a "poverty" grant, since he's poor and not working. They've got him so rattled with their bullsh-- that he's given up. But I haven't. Eddie deserves to have a place to live. He deserves to have some peace of mind as he deals with his illness and upcoming surgeries and loss of his livelihood. The road we stepped onto when we left home on August 28, 2005 has been long, and hard, and full of potholes. But, it's our road to walk. WE CAN'T GIVE UP, WE CAN'T GIVE IN, WE MUST GO ON. I refuse to let the assholes win. I'm going to keep on fighting for Eddie and for other people in this parish who just want to get on with their lives and just want a place to lay their heads at night. I think it's disgraceful that so many AMERICANS do not have that. ~ Rhonda
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